Quick Laughs…
October. This is one of the peculiarly dangerous months to speculate in stocks in.
The others are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, December, August and February.
Category: Stock Market Jokes
The Stock Broker
A minister dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates. Ahead of him is a guy who’s dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket, and jeans.
Saint Peter addresses this guy, “Who are you, so that I may know whether or not to admit you to the Kingdom of Heaven?”
The guy replies, “I’m Joe Cohen, stockbroker, of Noo Yawk City.”
Saint Peter consults his list. He smiles and says to the stockbroker, “Take this silken robe and golden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven.”
The stockbroker goes into Heaven with his robe and staff, and it’s the minister’s turn. He stands erect and booms out, “I am Joseph Snow, pastor of Saint Mary’s for the last forty-three years.”
Saint Peter consults his list. He says to the minister, “Take this cotton robe and wooden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven.”
The Investment Banker
An Investment Banker was at the pier of a small coastal Indian village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellow fin tuna.
The Investment Banker complimented the Fisherman on the quality of his fish and asked, “How long does it take to catch them?” The Fisherman replied: “Only a little while.”
