Funny Short Jokes
A modern employer is one who is looking for men between the ages of 25 and 30 with 40 years of experience.
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.
What did one magnet say to the other?
I find you very attractive.
Crime doesn’t pay…
Does that mean my job is a crime?
“Do you drink?” the girl’s father inquired of his prospective son-in-law.
“First tell me whether it is a question or an invitation” asked the prospective son-in-law.
Wife – A great disaster was averted today. When my mother was passing from below the clock, it fell. Had she been late by a few seconds, the bloody thing would have fallen on her.
Husband – “I know this useless clock is always slow!!”
Customer to used-car Salesman: “What I’d really like is a car that runs as smoothly as you talk.”
Raj: “Good Evening, old man. Thought I’d drop in and see you about the umbrella you borrowed from me last week.”
Prem: “I’m sorry, but I lent it to a friend of mine.
Were you wanting it?”
Raj: “Well, not for myself, but the fellow I borrowed it from says the owner wants it.”
Author: “I’m convinced that the publishers have a conspiracy against me.”
Friend: “What makes you think so?”
Author: “Ten of them have refused the same story.”
He who laughs last thinks slowest 
